How to Release Anger in a Healthy Way

Anger is part of being human. It happens when we feel threatened, disrespected, or overwhelmed. In the right context, anger can be useful. 

Having anger is normal. It is what we do with it that can be a potential problem. The issue is what happens when your anger builds, isn’t dealt with, or gets expressed in ways that hurt you or other people. Anger can feed on itself. The good news is that there are proven ways to safely release anger from both your body and mind.

One of the most valuable skills you can learn for your mental health and well-being is how to express anger in a healthy way. Pent-up anger doesn’t just go away on its own. Left unaddressed, anger can affect your physical health, your relationships, and your daily functioning. Fortunately, there are ways to safely express anger through healthy, positive, evidence-based approaches.

What Happens to Your Body When You Feel Anger

Before discussing the best ways to release your anger, it is helpful to understand what is actually happening in your body when you get angry.

Physiologically, when you get angry, your body releases stress hormones into the bloodstream and prepares your body to go into fight-or-flight mode. Your heart rate will increase, muscles tense, and breathing becomes more shallow, as your body prepares to respond to a threat.[1] 

In an urgent situation, such as imminent danger, this response is useful. When your anger is unrelenting or is triggered over and over again without resolution, the response to anger may be excessive. It starts to take a toll on your nervous system and health. Chronic, unresolved anger can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, poor sleep, and a weakened immune system.[2] It can also deplete your self-esteem and make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships with others. The goal is not to eliminate anger from your life, but to become aware of how to control it so that it doesn’t have control over you.

7 Constructive Ways to Release Anger

1. Move Your Body

There are many methods of releasing pent-up anger from the body, and one of the best is through physical activity. 

Exercise gives your fight-or-flight energy somewhere to go. Exercise as an effective, healthy way to manage anger is backed by solid research. Activities like cycling, swimming, jogging, running, or walking increase circulation and cause the release of endorphins, some of the body’s natural mood-regulating hormones.[3] Regular physical activity also helps reduce the baseline intensity of angry thoughts and feelings.

Using a punching bag can be cathartic, but it may not help with releasing anger. Studies on using physically aggressive outlets to release anger show mixed results.[4] Many people find greater long-term relief from physical activity that channels energy without focusing on aggression.

2. Use Breathing Exercises to Calm Down

When you become angry, your breathing and heart rate both increase, resulting in a heightened state of anxiety. Using a breathing exercise to calm the body down is one of the most effective tools for immediate relief. 

To do this, try inhaling slowly for 4 counts, holding for 4 counts, and exhaling slowly for 6-8 counts, and repeating the technique several times until your heart rate slows.

The extended exhale stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps bring your body back down from fight-or-flight mode.[5] Breathing exercises can also help reduce how quickly you reach the point of losing control of your anger and gives you more time to respond to situations rather than react automatically.

3. Write It Out

Journaling is a powerful but often underused method for processing feelings of anger. When angry thoughts stay inside your head, they tend to increase in intensity and keep repeating. Writing the angry thoughts down externalizes those thoughts, creating distance and perspective.

The writing does not have to be neat or in complete sentences. Simply get down what happened, how you felt, and what you wish had gone differently. Over time, journaling will help you see patterns in what triggers your anger, which is a big part of developing effective coping mechanisms.

4. Talk to Someone You Trust

Talking to a trustworthy friend or family member about your experiences can often be helpful, however, there is a style of communicating anger, that is venting, that can be counterproductive. 

Venting that helps you process is not the same as venting that keeps you stuck . When you talk about the details of what made you angry without working towards a resolution, you usually reinforce the anger instead of releasing it.

When talking with someone, attempt to create connection and gain perspective; refrain from simply replaying the details of the experience. A productive conversation should leave you feeling validated and heard, while providing you with a new perspective to manage the anger-provoking situation. If you frequently talk to the same people about the same issues and the problems remain the same, it could be an indication that there is a problem with how you’re communicating your anger, or an underlying cause for your anger that needs to be addressed.

5. Set Boundaries

Anger may be a sign that a boundary has been crossed. One of the most constructive ways to safely release your anger is to directly address the source of your anger by establishing clear and concise boundaries with the person or situation that has been consistently triggering your anger.

This is not about confronting someone for the sake of confronting alone. Instead, it is about expressing your needs clearly and calmly, while also following through on your decision to clarify your boundaries when they are violated. Setting boundaries is a core component of anger management. It reduces the feelings of anger that accumulate over time in relationships.

6. Engage in Relaxation Techniques

Beyond breathing exercises, there are additional relaxation techniques that help release anger and bring the nervous system back into balance. Progressive muscle relaxation, which involves tensing and then releasing muscle groups throughout the body, can be particularly helpful since anger is often stored as physical tension.

Meditation, yoga, and mindfulness are also effective, research-backed ways to help regulate your emotions.[6] These techniques do not suppress anger but train the mind to observe feelings of anger without being consumed by them. The more you practice, the easier you will let go of angry thoughts before they escalate.

7. Take a Break Before You React

One of the most effective anger coping strategies may be one of the most difficult to do: wait before you react. 

The prefrontal cortex of your brain, responsible for reasoning and decision-making, is less active when you are angry. Reacting immediately, with your prefrontal cortex disengaged, is rarely the most effective way to respond to anger.[7] Giving yourself permission to walk away from a person or situation to cool down, and returning when you are calmer is not avoidance; it is a smart, safe way to manage your anger without causing as much damage as would an immediate response. Let the others involved know you need a moment, take a walk, take some deep breaths, and come back when you have more clarity and self-regulation.

When Anger Becomes a Problem

There is a significant difference between feeling anger and having anger management problems. Everyone gets angry. But if your anger is frequent, intense, difficult to control, or causes damage to your relationships, work, or physical health, it may be time to consider an underlying cause or disorder.

Uncontrolled anger can be a sign of an underlying mental health condition, such as depression, anxiety, or trauma, which requires attention.

A licensed mental health professional specializing in anger management can help you identify the deeper triggers of your anger, develop more effective coping skills, and build the emotional regulation skills needed to handle difficult situations. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) has a strong track record for helping people identify thought patterns fueling their anger and to develop healthier, more productive responses.[8]

Getting Help at New Life Mental Health

If anger is controlling your life and damaging your mental health and relationships, there are ways to break free.

At New Life Mental Health, we are here to help. Our clinical team works with patients dealing with anger problems rooted in stress, trauma, or depression, to help address the problem at its source and learn to manage your anger more effectively.

We provide individualized, evidence-based therapy programs designed to help you build the skills to effectively manage your emotions in a lasting way. Managing anger is not about suppressing what is inside; it’s about becoming aware of it, expressing it in a healthy way, and building a life where it no longer has control over you.

Contact New Life Mental Health today to learn how we can help. Take a step closer to feeling better.

Frequently Asked Questions About Releasing Anger